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Submitted by Administrator
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President Vladimir Putin called President Bush with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the Russian President cried; "My people's favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Boris, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you.", replied the President.
"I do need your help," said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tie us over?"
"Why certainly! I'll get right on it!", said Bush.
"Oh, and one more small favour, please?", said Putin.
"Yes?", replied the President. |
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Submitted by St. Richard
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A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party.
"But why?" asked his puzzled friend, "You're labour through and through… Why change now?"
The man learned forward and explained, "Well, I'd rather it was one of them that died and not one of us." |
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Submitted by Hillarious
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Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good, I'll have that," Hillary says.
The waiter nods: "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, HE'll have the fish," Hillary replies. |
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Submitted by Simply Sue
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Boy: Dad, what's politics?
Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we'll call me the management. Mom receives most of it so we'll call her the government. We'll call the maid the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand now son?
Boy: I still don't understand dad.
Dad: Think about it for a while son.
That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he's soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there having sex with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can here him.
The next day... |
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Submitted by Administrator
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Clinton returns from a vacation in Arkansas and walks down the steps of Air Force One with two pigs under his arms.
At the bottom of the steps, the honor guardsman steps forward and remarks, "Nice pigs, Mr. President"
Clinton replies, "I'll have to let you know that these are genuine Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got this one for Chelsea and this one for Hillary.. So, now what do you think?"
The honor guardsman answers: "Nice trade, Sir." |
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